It's Not Personal, It's Constructive

I love criticism.

Mmmhmm. I do.

I really do, promise.

Why are you looking at me that way?

Okay, so I don't really love it.  In fact, I hate it. I hate it a lot. But I have to pretend to like it because it's important.  And it's useful. And it helps me to be a better writer.

I rarely share what I write with people I don't know and trust.  It scares the Dickens out of me. But this week, I participated in the amazing WriteOnCon conference, and I could not pass up the opportunity to have my work critiqued.

I posted my query letter (I was too chicken to post anything else) and waited.  And waited. And waited.  And I got a glimpse of what it must be like to wait for agents to respond.  I checked my email every five minutes. I drank some water.  Checked again.

Finally, three lovely individuals critiqued my query and very politely told me that it wasn't perfect.

WHAT?! I've spent hours on that thing! What do you mean it's not perfect?

Confession time: I threw a mental conniption fit worthy of an American Idol reject. Prideful Brain shouted, "But my friends all tell me it's good!" while Sensitive Brain cried, "Waaaah! I'm the worst writer in the world!! I'll never write again! I give up!"

And then the quiet little voice of Rational Brain got tired of being ignored and yelled, "HEY! Would you two please shut up and listen to me for a second?!"

Rational Brain rarely makes a big deal out of anything (I mean, come on, let's be practical...), so Prideful Brain and Sensitive Brain were quite shocked. They looked over at Rational Brain, who stood there with arms crossed, her foot tapping with annoyance.

"Look," she said. "You two are taking this way too seriously, and you need to grow up."

Prideful Brain took offense to that. "Hey!"

"Chill out," said Rational Brain. "These people are only trying to help you."

"They said I'm terrible," Sensitive Brain sniffed. "They said they hated it."

"Where?" said Rational Brain.  "Show me."

Sensitive Brain looked at the comments made by the Three Critiquers for a long time before giving a sad little shrug.

"See?" said Rational Brain. "They didn't say that you're terrible, and they didn't say that they hated it. They gave you some suggestions for things you can fix to make it better.  What did you expect? You wanted people to tell you how to make it better, didn't you?"

Prideful Brain shook her head. "I wanted them to tell me it was perfect and that I needed to send them my full RIGHT NOW and that they'd make sure the editors agreed to a $1,000,000 advance and--"

"Okay," Rational Brain said.  "Let's be realistic here.  If these people are telling you things need to be fixed, do you really think your future readers aren't going to say the same thing? And aren't you glad you're getting feedback that helps you address your query's issues before an agent sees it? Maybe if you'd actually listen to these people, your future agent will say it's perfect and they want your full. I mean, it's not probable, but it's more likely if you take the time to get some feedback and work things out."

Prideful Brain scuffed her shoe against the dirt. "I guess so."

"See? That's better. Constructive criticism is good for you.  Now, go take your vitamins."

Prideful Brain grinned.  "Fat chance!" she said, then skipped off to eat ice cream before dinner*.

The End. 

*True fact