It’s really hard to come up with something creative when I’m in such a grumpy mood—especially when that grumpiness is due, in part, to being told I have to lower my creative standards to fit with something that I find garish and distasteful.
I have rewritten this many times, trying to find the words to say without complaining or indulging my current state of negativity. I so desperately want someone to tell me that I’m cooler and better than I think I am, but even if they did, I wouldn’t believe them. Apparently, compliments only serve to rub in the fact that I’m an ingrate who doesn’t realize just how good she’s got it. I’ve got a great job. I’ve got amazing friends. I live in the second most beautiful place in the world.
What do I have to complain about?
Nothing.
So why do I feel like such a mess? Why do I feel like I have control over absolutely nothing? Why do I feel like any of this matters at all to anyone but my grouchy, narcissistic self?
And why is my computer telling me that “this matters” is incorrect subject/verb agreement? I’ve already had someone correct my grammar and punctuation today, and I know for a fact that I was right.
Grrrrrrrr…..
11 comments:
Well, it matters to me because you are one of my rays of sunshine. And if nothing else, you've always been there for me in the good and bad, the rough and smooth, the happy and miserable.... I wouldn't be me and here and happy if I didn't have you in my life. So who cares about the grammar when you can bring a smile to MY face? 'Cause there ain't nothin' to be more proud about than accomplishing that sometimes impossible feat!
-From your not-quite-local editor and former VTee, and RS lettuce eating buddy, and well....lots more.
P.S. I so understand the feelings, though!
For what it's worth:
Among many other things, you inspired me to stop being afraid of writing a book. Yours is fabulous, and it somehow made me realize that I should just stop thinking and start doing. I dunno if you'll ever know just what that insight meant to me. And this little comment doesn't do it justice. But there it is.
I think you're wonderful and it's okay to have a bad day once in awhile. And I find that the computer is often stupid about grammar.
Amen to that.
Thanks, you guys. Things were much better today. I woke up, said, "I AM going to have a good day today," did some yoga, and had a great day! And that is all thanks, in part, to the support I found when I came back to The Thursday Chronicles to read CK's post.
I have to say, Thursday really has become my favorite day of the week. Even if it turns out to be a downer day, at least I know I have a community of friends to connect with every 7 days. You guys rock. Heidi and Cheri Kay, thanks for doing this with me. And to those who read it (like you, Sara Lyn!) thanks, too!
And p.s. CK, are you writing a book? DO TELL. ;)
It's in the beginning stages . . . Right now there are two competing ideas in my head if you know what I mean (and I'm sure you do!)
Yet again, I must say "AMEN SISTA" to Thursdays being so wonderful! I love reading both of your brilliant posts! They make me happy--and even though my post was kind of a downer, I'm glad that we can cheer each other up and that our readers are so nice :)
I love our posts and friendships, too! I'm always happy to help be a cheerer-upper since so many had to do that for me (electronically and in person) over the last few years.
Hormones is your answer, just kidding. And for what it is worth you are amazing and I would never correct your grammar, mainly because I suck at it.
ps sorry I'm a lame friend and read almost a week after your post. :( Can we still be friends?
Jak - haha, of course! The only rule for Thursday Chronicles is that we have to write on Thursdays. You can read it whenever you want. :)
Post a Comment